Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 984 (32 since yesterday)

New received emails: 0 unsolicited, 1 solicited

New sent emails: 1 new, 1 reply

New winks: 0

Optimism level: Maybe Match was down for maintenance all day.

It’s as if my profile jumped off the radar screen today. I had very few profile views and no new emails or winks. It’s become apparent that my match probably isn’t going to find me so I’m going to have to make greater efforts to find him.

SENT EMAIL #1: I sent out another email last night, this time to my favorite guy on the list. This guy seems too good to be true- gorgeous, funny and playful, with very similar interests. And his job as a lawyer isn’t too shabby. I was going to put off writing to him a little while, test the waters with a few others first, but he listed his religion as Protestant and it appears that some sort of religious affiliation might be important to him in a partner. I figured, if for no other reason, he might reject me on that basis so I might as well get him out of the way in order to focus on other prospects. I can see that he checked out my profile today so I take that to mean my main picture, which is included in emails, is all right. However, he hasn’t written me back yet. People who are interested tend to respond fairly quickly on Match, so I’m guessing he’s dogging me. Sniff. Where’s that razor blade?

[Added later: I knew the guy looked familiar at the time but couldn't quite place him. I later realized he was on a reality show and I thought he was a hottie back then. No question he's out of my league.]

SENT EMAIL #2: I also replied to Bodybuilder Boy last night and explained that mornings weren’t good for me and that I didn’t think it was wise for me to give out my number. I even made reference to his “busy social calendar” (ha!) saying that if he found some free time he should email me and we could try to make plans. This was his response:

Subject: Gamble
emailing as opposed to talking on the phone for making plans just sounds silly to me. How many people out there really have the energy to be psycho anyway? I promise you, I’m far to lazy to ever be a nuisance. If you’re convinced, then great, give me a number; if not then I wish you the best of luck, M

The first time I read it, I thought he was calling ME psycho for wanting to make plans through email. Then I reread it and realized what he meant. But isn’t that exactly what a psychotic scam artist would tell you? “Trust me, I’m not psycho.” The truth is, I’m really not too concerned about any harm that could be caused by giving out my number. It’s just that I never answer calls from unknown numbers so he’d have to leave a message and then I’d have to call him back, which I probably wouldn’t do. As I’ve said, I hate talking on the phone to strangers. I suffer from a bit of A.D.D. when on the phone and the person on the other line can always tell I’m doing something else. It’s just not my best element for getting to know somebody. I’m also curious why, given that I expressed some concern, he didn’t leave his number? Wouldn’t that have made sense? He came across pretty aggressive in this email so my interest is waning. But I think it might be a good idea to meet him just to get in some practice for later guys with whom I see more potential. I guess I’ll send him my number but I’m going to wait another day to give the hint that I’m not overly anxious to meet him.

ANOTHER REJECTION RESPONSE: I actually did receive one other email today, from a guy I rejected (not with the awful rejection letter I sent out a few days ago). It was the guy on day 10 about whom I said I’d decide in 48 hours. He sent me a wink yesterday so I wrote to him saying that I liked his smile and his profile but that it appeared to me we wanted different things in the future so I wished him luck. He wrote me back and this was the bulk of the letter:

You’ve now presented *me* with quite a puzzler… I’m not 100% sure what to make of it. Is it possible to have a lukewarm rejection? I normally don’t try a second time on the Internet thing but — maybe we should at least have a phone call?

Especially since you were talking about the future… I’m not sure where I said anything particular about the future. Except maybe children. But as you can see, I didn’t reply “definitely”

Then he left his number and asked me to call him. Yeah, that’s gonna happen. This final paragraph kind of sealed it that he’s not for me and confirmed the confusion I wrote about regarding options available for the “Wants Children” category. He answered “Someday.” Now suddenly he’s flip-flopping to indicate maybe kids aren’t a necessity. If that’s the case, he should have answered “Not Sure.” I’d rather meet a guy who’s not sure of what he wants than a guy who could be changing his position simply because he wants to get laid. I already rejected him once and gave him the courtesy of a reason so it’s pointless to state it again. I really need to stick to those pre-made rejection responses in the future.

Finally, I haven’t heard back from “Homer.” He did say, “Tell me more,” which is why I responded to him. Perhaps he doesn’t have Internet access while he’s out of town or perhaps he was being polite with the “Tell me more.” Given that we’re in the same business and have a lot of mutual friends, I’d be surprised if he just ignored my last letter but I suppose it’s possible.