Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 1204 (49 since yesterday)

New received emails: 0

New sent emails:0

New winks: 0

Optimism level: Tough to put a positive spin on all those zeros.

I noticed in my searches, that Match always displays 34 pages of results (with 10 guys per page). Even after removing profiles, there would still be 34 pages, which told me I needed to be even more selective in the people I kept if I wanted to see all available matches. While my previous criteria required me to see the slightest potential for sexual activity, my new criteria is to eliminate anybody I can’t imagine initiating correspondence with (odd that I have higher standards for email activity than for sexual activity). I figure if any of the guys I removed from searches writes me, I’ll give him a closer look, but since I can’t see myself starting up the conversation, I might as well make room for others.

Looking through my compilation of favorites (I have 27), I noticed a similarity in most of their pictures: they’re smiling, and not just a grin, they’re showing off a full set of teeth. Only two images feature guys who aren’t smiling and maybe a handful are smiling with closed mouths. And all but two are close-up face shots of the guys looking right at the camera. I don’t think it’s that all the attractive guys are smiling but rather that the guys who are smiling appear more attractive. Match needs to offer some sort of profile advice service to clue people in about photo decisions because some bad choices are probably hurting their chances of meeting a match (and they’re definitely hurting mine).

On day 5, I discussed some of the major picture problems, but now I see a lot more popping up that I need to address. One is the photographic history of the guy’s life. Don’t guys realize that by displaying their modelling pictures from 15 years ago, it only shows us how much they’ve degenerated? I don’t want to sort through 10 shots trying to guess which one’s current, just show me the face I might possibly meet. Today I saw one that was even weirder than the hottie shots. I noticed that one of the guys who had previously sent me a wink but who didn’t have a primary photo had 20 additional photos so I gave them a look. Almost all of them were photos of his little yippy dog in ballerina costumes! No wonder the guy didn’t want to show his face.

The next photo issue that’s getting to me is the one with the guy on the phone. Why do guys submit these? Do they think we’ll all assume they’re soooo busy they couldn’t put down the phone to take a picture? I don’t think anyone’s ever taken a photo of me while I was on the phone and if they have, I certainly wasn’t looking at the camera smiling. The funniest instance of this was the guy who was obviously taking pictures of himself with a computer camera (I could tell because he was looking slightly to the side in every picture and had a glow on his face). He submitted not one but two different phone shots as if he’d tried over and over to get that perfect one and then couldn’t decide between the final two. There’s a limit to how contrived a photo should appear.

I have to mention the shirtless pics again, because now I see a new horrific but hilarious variation on the theme. It’s where guys take pictures of their bodies in the mirror. And a lot of them don’t even have great bodies! The dude’s standing there in that awful bathroom lighting, camera in one hand and an expression that says, “Play your cards right and you could be touching this on our first date.” One of the guys who did this was a good looking doctor, but I still had to take him out of the dating pool. I just can’t let bad judgment calls like that slide.

Again I wonder, is it asking too much for a simple face shot?

Still no word from “Homer” or Bodybuilder Boy. I’m not giving up hope I’ll hear from “Homer,” but I’m pretty certain if Bodybuilder Boy was going to return my call, he’d have done so by now. Makes me wonder if even my voice mail skills need a lot of work! In any event, the next guy on my list is someone I’m anxious to contact so I think I’ll shoot him an email tomorrow.