Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 112

New emails: 3

New winks: 4

Optimism level: It’s only the first day.

Today I did my first search for a suitable mate. The initial set of criteria brought 340 possible matches so I had to chop it down to a manageable number. I started by weeding out everybody I couldn’t possibly imagine having sex with. Let’s face it, if the main picture a guy chooses to represent himself shows absolutely no potential, it’s not likely there will be any improvement in person. I’m trying not to be too picky on looks (which has been my downfall in the past), but online personals just don’t afford one the opportunity to win another over with a fabulous personality. I don’t need an immediate or strong attraction, just a lack of repulsion.

Match has made searching easier by adding the option to remove someone’s profile from all searches. It’s quite convenient. There were several borderline cases so I opened their profiles to see if their other photos offered any hope of making it to the next round. What I didn’t realize is that Match also implemented a sort of stalker awareness program where you can see all those with profiles who have viewed your profile. In addition, Match suggests, “Take a moment to send these people an email. Since they’re already interested, chances are, you’ll get a ‘hello’ in return.” Lovely. Now a bunch of guys whose profiles I viewed merely to determine if there’s enough alcohol in the world for me to sleep with them think I’ve got the hots for them. I’ll have to figure out a new covert way to view profiles.

Through the “remove” option, I knocked the list down to about 180 candidates worthy of further investigation. I felt a bit like Simon Cowell telling people, “You’re going to Hollywood!” Except it would be Simon Cowell telling that to random people on the street who weren’t even auditioning for American Idol and may or may not have any interest in going to Hollywood

On to the stats. In the first 24 hours, my profile received 112 page views. Of those views, roughly 20 had profiles and only one looked to have any real potential (it was one of the few hotties I’d checked out). Any interest there? Stay tuned. Is 112 views in 24 hours a lot? It sounds like a lot to me but I couldn’t help but wonder if Match simply bumped up the number just to make me think there are a lot of guys checking me out so I’d extend my subscription another year or so. Heck, for all I know, those page views could have been from guys trying to weed me off their “borderline” list!

As for the three emails I received…

EMAIL #1: No photo included. How can anybody not know the cardinal rule of online dating: INCLUDE A PHOTO! In his profile he claims that he supervises a lot of people in the area so he’s not sure if he’ll post his picture. It’s not like you’re soliciting hookers, buddy. And if you’re too scared to show your picture, I’m too scared to see it. There’s nothing anyone could write in a profile that would intrigue me to the point I’d bother to ask for a photo. Well, maybe if he wrote, “I was one of the original stars of ER then enjoyed big screen success in Three Kings and Ocean’s Twelve,” or “I just divorced Jennifer Aniston.” Maybe then I’d ask for a photo. Moved to folder: Out of site, out of my inbox.

EMAIL #2: This one simply said: Good Morning! Way to dig deep within for that communication attempt. Moved to folder: I hate mornings.

EMAIL #3:The last email asked only: Do you like french fries? I’m not sure if he was being playful with my code word “falafel” or if he’s just a guy hoping to build a relationship on a foundation of shared appreciation for foods containing trans-fatty acids. Moved to folder: Fast food employees need not apply.

Finally, I received four winks. Basically, anybody can send a wink to another person with a profile, whether they have a membership or not. There’s no exchange of words, it’s just a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m interested, check out my profile.” But it says a couple other things to me as well, like “I don’t know how to start a conversation so the ball’s in your court” or “I’m too cheap to pay for a subscription so this is the only way I have of contacting you.” Whatever the reason for the wink, a guy would have to seem pretty spectacular for me to initiate a conversation and he’d have to give me a really good reason for the wink or I’d have a hard time getting past the negative first impression.

Over the next few days, I’ll invest more time reviewing the profiles of my potential matches.