Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 1372 (26 since yesterday)

New received emails: 1 unsolicited, 0 solicited

New sent emails: 0

New winks: 0

Optimism level: Maybe I should omit this until I actually experience optimism.

I stayed off Match today, instead spending a little time browsing other blogs that deal with online dating. I found a few featuring advice from experts. I learned that either what I want is very different from what other women want or these “experts” suck. Here are a couple of suggestions I found offered to men in online dating:

1. Cool your heels. Do not rush into wanting to meet. That scares women to death. It raises a red flag that you may be desperate, or worse, a predator. Instead, try to pursue true friendship first for a long while. She needs to gain your trust first and foremost.

What are we, stupid helpless gazelle drinking from the lions’ watering hole? I totally disagree with this advice. The first time I tried Match, I exchanged emails with a guy for most of my monthlong membership. After about his 10th email with no mention of us meeting, I stopped responding. I’m not looking for a pen pal or a phone buddy. I’ve had my share of long distance relationships and I’ve learned that when all you have is phone calls or letters, you’re forced to fill in some gaps and inevitably, your mind turns the other person into someone they’re not. I don’t want to waste a guy’s time and I don’t want him to waste mine. I say get the date over with so we can move on, either together or apart. I would think that the women who aren’t comfortable meeting right away probably give some hints in their profile like, “I’m shy and timid and haven’t left my apartment in seven years.” Something like that. But a lot of us don’t want to establish trust and friendship with someone only to throw it all away when we finally meet and realize he’s wearing a rug.

As for dropping the guy the way I did with no explanation, I do feel bad about that and I know I could have asked him out, but I realized the kind of man that’s right for me goes after what he wants and doesn’t wait around for what he wants to come after him.

2. When the discussion about meeting has begun, ask her to come with a friend if she so chooses. Suggest a meeting in daylight, and in a very public place. This gives her more confidence about her safety.

Are a lot of guys asking women to meet them in dark alleys? If a woman is so fearful for her safety that she needs to take all these precautions before meeting somebody in a public place, perhaps she needs to deal with bigger personal issues than finding a man. I’m not suggesting women should be careless, but come on, it really doesn’t make much difference if it’s daytime or nighttime and if she’s with an escort or not, a public place is a public place. The more logical advice would be to meet at a location with front door valet parking so nobody even has to mention the safety issue (and so you can check out what kind of car he drives—I’m kidding— sorta).

Then there’s the “bring a friend” advice. Guys, DO NOT suggest the woman bring a friend. It sounds too much like you’re trying to get a little threesome action. And if the woman asks you if she can bring a friend along on your first date, run away. Quickly. She’s either doing it because she doesn’t think she can hold up half the conversation or she’s an insecure clinger who will never do anything alone (if you’re the kind of guy who likes to spend long hours standing outside ladies’ dressing rooms, then go for it).

I bookmarked a few more blogs and articles to check out in the coming days. It would be great to find a new perspective that forces me to reconsider some of the choices I’ve made so far. Then again, finding bad advice is more amusing.

EMAIL #1: This is a very curious email. It came from day 3’s Dare-To-Say-Seductive Dude who was one of the unlucky souls to receive The Rejection Letter. His initial response to that letter was actually pleasant, saying something like “Interesting response- good luck to you.” Today’s email from him said:

Hey, what’s your schedule like this coming week? Let me know if you’re interested in seeing any of the following exhibits at (museum) :

He then listed every tour at the museum for the next two weeks. He closed with: … I’ll write more once I hear back from you.

????????????

For the life of me, I can’t figure out the purpose of his email. Could he possibly think I’d go or is he a masochist hoping to receive another rejection from me? Maybe I should submit The Rejection Letter to Penthouse “Forum” because it’s caused the recipients of it to keep on coming, over and over again. Or maybe I’ve stumbled upon the perfect way to meet a man online. Perhaps if I tell a potential match all the things he did wrong in his profile, he’ll be instantly smitten. Certainly seems like it could be more effective than the “Hey, it appears we’ve got a lot in common. I like cow tipping too” approach. Moved to folder: No more rejection erections for him.