Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 1502 (34 since yesterday)

New received emails: 1 (Month total: 32 unsolicited)

New sent emails: 1 (Month total: 7 with 3 responses)

New winks: 6 (Month total: 40)

Optimism level: I think Britney Spears married, divorced and remarried in less time.

I can’t believe I’ve been at this for a whole month and have yet to go on one date or make any sort of connection. I have nobody but myself to blame as I’ve turned down everybody who’s approached me and haven’t made a strong attempt at pursuing others. I’ve promised myself that will change after the new year. I actually did send out one email today and it was to a guy who lives about half an hour away. I know I said I’d hold off on the farther prospects but this was one I’d never seen before and he kinda grabbed me in his profile so I decided to go for it. I also sent out three winks and felt like an idiot every time I did it. While I’m inclined to believe the right man for me will also think winks are lame, maybe guys cut women a little more slack for taking the wimpy approach. Either way, none of the ones I winked at interest me to the point I’d give it a second thought if I never hear from them.

I have to mention an interesting profile I saw today. I was clearing guys from my “viewed me” list and was just about to remove this one when I saw the words, “Recluse adult film star…” Oh, I had to explore that profile. He explains in his essay how he starred in adult films for the last 10 years and now he produces them. The rest of his essay is actually very well written but I wonder how many responses he gets with that opener. I respect his honesty and I don’t judge someone for lifestyle choices that hurt nobody but at the same time, I couldn’t date a former (or, of course, current) porn star. I would always fear that horrifying situation when someone like Grandpa meets him and says, “You look very familiar…” and I’m forever haunted by questions I don’t want answered. Here’s what I found particularly amusing: he didn’t post a photo. I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought that someone would be willing to film every inch of his naked body in a variety of sexual positions but is apparently too embarrassed to post his photo on an Internet dating site. Ah, the shame we online daters suffer!

Perhaps he should take the approach that a Swedish guy who winked at me today took: submit someone else’s photo. This guy posted a picture of Robert Redford! I’m not kidding. Take a look at his profile. Great picture scrutinizing on Match’s part.

EMAIL #1: I feel kind of bad ripping on this gentleman because his email to me sounded very sweet and sincere, but I want to be honest in my blogs about the reasons why somebody doesn’t float my boat. So here goes. Like I said, the email was nice and only one statement stood out which was: I am kind, love animals and children, since I can relate to them better than adults sometimes. I love animals and children too, but one of the reasons I don’t want to have my own kids is that I like being an adult and enjoy adult interactions with other adults. He didn’t say he likes animals and children better sometimes (as we all do), he said he relates to them better sometimes. Maybe it was just the wrong choice of words on his part or maybe he actually feels a stronger connection to less-developed creatures. I’d give him a pass on that one but his profile narrative is basically a list of adjectives. I would guess that the same 20 adjectives appear on 90% of the profiles, and that’s fine, but I want some proof or examples- something to separate someone from the flock. If I had to briefly recall some of the other guys I’ve chosen to approach there would be “The bodybuilder with the really sweet smile who admitted to getting kicked out of college for taking a ‘team approach’ to finals,” “The outdoorsy writer whose profile said, ‘illiteracy is not hot,’” “The free thinking smartass who said he likes ‘kicking sacred cows in the crotch.’” Those little comments distinguished them a bit and gave me a hint of their personalities. The only thing I could come up with for this man is “The nice engineer guy.” NOTHING else stands out.

Well, except his pictures. It’s always the pictures. It’s not that he’s a bad looking guy, he just made bad photo choices. The main photo is a self portrait, taken in the mirror. He’s holding the camera right next to his ear so there’s a bright white glow in the corner that extends to half his face. Even worse is that he looks sort of scared, like he’s being forced by Al-Qaida to post an online dating picture. It’s bad enough to submit a picture like this when you have no other options but to deliberately take this photo, presumably for a Match profile, is ridiculous. Since I can’t imagine he only took one picture, I’m kind of curious how truly awful the others must have been. Of his other two images, one is blurry and completely useless and the other shows a portion of his face as he sleeps on a pillow with a dog resting on his neck. The dog’s adorable- can I get a date with him? Moved to folder: Can’t remember anything about him to know which folder.