Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 1676 (17 since yesterday)

New received emails: 1

New winks: 0

Optimism level: Hoping someday the good will be as good as the bad is bad.

I think stepping back from the Match process the way I have over the last week has helped a lot. My intent when I joined was to find a good guy but somewhere along the way I started looking for the perfect guy. I looked for every possible fault in a guy as an excuse for not dating him. I’m going to try to avoid that in the future with the guys who show any sort of potential. But I’ll still rip on the Mr. Wrongs. And do I have a good one today!

EMAIL #1: I’m seriously struggling with where to begin. I guess the email, since it gave me my first impression. The first line said: I liked yr smile and yr words it amused me. First of all, “yr” is the abbreviation for “year” not “your.” And abbreviations like “yr” and “u” and “2day” usually sound to me like they’re coming from a teenage girl. I appreciate efficiency in people and I suppose I could tolerate someone shortening a few words in an instant message, but when you’re only cutting back two little letters, why not take the extra half second to shoot for clarity? It’s as if his membership expires tomorrow and he’s rushing to get out as many emails as possible beforehand.

His next line said:

Ok, I speak three languages, I am Engineer just moved to CA, I lived in Germany, Sweden, Egypt and visited over 26 countries. I love to travel as u can see it wasn’t my choice when I was little but after that it became an addiction.

Without mentioning the relevance of his travels, none of this matters to me. Maybe he thinks it will give him some sort of edge over the guy who’s only been to 18 countries. He’d be better-off stating simply, “I love to travel.”

Next paragraph:

Honestly I am I am goofy and like to joke about everything in the same time I am romantic. Little Intel I am kinda gayish ( don’t get me wrong, I like to dress well and take care of myself)

On first read, I didn’t get what “Little Intel” meant. Had he used an adult spellchecker instead of a teenybopper one, it would have changed the expression to “FYI” and I would have understood immediately. Instead, I thought he’d given me my Indian name. Then there’s the use of “gayish.” Why would any guy think that calling himself “gayish” is going to reel in the dates? Reading what he wrote in parenthesis, I’m wondering if he was in such a hurry, that he skipped an entire phrase, like, “don’t get me wrong, I love ladies BUT I like to dress well…” The way it sounds now is as if he wanted to make it clear that his “gayish” qualities go beyond just sex with men to also include good grooming.

He closed with: So if that works for u, tell me about u..give me the Intel (this is where I figured out what he meant by his first “Intel”). I can’t read that sentence without imagining he has a Justin Timberlake poster hanging in his room.

So that’s just the email- I’ve barely even begun!!!

On to the profile. He’s actually not a bad looking buy, but given the height he listed, I’d say he’s about 40 pounds overweight, though he lists his weight as “about average.” I understand that he would want to increase his exposure in searches by calling himself “about average” instead of one of the three other options that are more applicable to his size, but when something is so noticeably untrue, you can’t help but wonder what else is. He should go with the “no answer” option.

His essay is interesting, to say the least. He wrote: I play by the rules does not mean believing in them. Is that an appealing trait to most women? I don’t know. Personally, I think I’d prefer someone who breaks some of the rules he doesn’t believe in.

Ok, here’s the really good part:

*********REALITY CHECK*** **********This is just a reality check for some of you girls on here who seem to have lost your damn mind !!! Some of you are getting way to big headed and it’s pretty sad. Keep in mind you’re only as beautiful as your inside and you’re not any hotter today then you were the day you joined. Just use your mind and your better judgement and don’t forget the morals your momma taught you and get rid of the attitude. Cause REAL MEN don’t find the attitude sexy 4 real.

Now… (let’s all take a breather first)…. I know I’ve joked about sending guys abusive letters since I seem to get a better response from my rejections rather than my approaches. But this guy actually did it- and in his public profile, no less! He dared to try the “U bitches aren’t so hot so drop the ‘tude” system for meeting women. Should I write to him and explain that the reason that method works so well for rappers is because they’re rich and famous? That heavyset, I mean “about average” engineers from the Valley can’t pull that off? I’m seriously considering responding and telling him, as nicely as possible, how his profile comes across. I figure, either he’s a nice yet clueless guy who will adjust his profile to his own benefit or he’s an idiot who will shoot me a nasty yet fun email for me to post on my blog. It’s a win-win situation for me so I think I’ll do it. Moved to folder: 4 ur Intel, way 2 lameish 4 me. 4 real.