Match.com stats:

Total profile views: 466 (75 since yesterday)

New emails: 2 (”falafel” count: 2/10)

New winks: 3

Optimism level: Nothing to be thankful for…yet

I seem to recall that when I tried Match the first time, I received around 7-10 emails a day instead of the two or three I’m getting this time. Maybe it’s because of Thanksgiving being tomorrow or maybe it’s due to the fact I’m three years older.

I really hope it’s because of the holiday.

I do think that’s a possible reason because I know I’m waiting until the weekend before I make any moves. Right now I’m adding the profiles that look decent to my favorites. The ones that look really good, I’m visiting uncloaked. The hope, of course, is that they’ll see I checked out their profile and then they’ll contact me. But it’s never that easy for me so I’m sure I’ll have to suck it up and send them the first email.

There are a couple of factors that make my search for a companion particularly difficult: I don’t want children and I don’t believe in God. I was somewhat ambiguous in my profile responses to these questions, but I think clear enough for the bible-thumping Mr. Brady wannabes to figure out I’m not the one for them. Normally these issues wouldn’t be a problem in a dating situation, but it’s hard to figure out what people are looking for online. Match has made a HUGE mistake in neglecting the question, “What kind of relationship are you interested in?” Shouldn’t that be the very first question? The options could be: 1) sex buddy, 2)casual dating, 3) committed relationship, 4) possibly marriage, 5) definitely marriage and 6) definitely marriage to a rich guy in an equitable property state. I’d select 2, 3, 4 and 6.

But in typical white trash fashion, Match skips the importance of the relationship and delves into popping out bambinos. There are several options from which to choose. “Don’t want to have kids” indicates there will be absolutely no rug rats jumping on his leather sofas. “Probably not” tells me he doesn’t foresee having kids but there’s a small yet unlikely chance that in 10 years he’ll want to trade in his Harley for a baby buggy. “Not sure” says he doesn’t coo over his friends’ babies’ pictures but it’s possible he’d coo over his own. Then there are the “someday” and “definitely” options. I really don’t know what the difference between them is. If a person’s not definite he someday wants kids, he belongs in the “not sure” category. Maybe it’s just some subtle difference where “someday” means he’d like to enjoy the newlywed stage a little while and “definitely” means he’s already on a waiting list for Lamaze classes. (Oh, I shouldn’t forget there’s also the “any” option, which says, “I’m a big pussy and I’ll do whatever the woman wants”). At this point, I’m automatically removing the guys who answered “definitely” but I’ll leave things open for all the others, even the “any” pussies. Maybe they’ve got an excuse.

EMAIL #1: There were no glaring flaws in his email, picture or profile but there were lots of little things that gave me the overall impression I wouldn’t be comfortable with him. Normally when someone writes me and I see no potential, I don’t respond. But I read this in his profile:

will always reply to people as I feel if you bother to write its only polite to write back, don’t like people who are on this site and dont respond then why are you here

(Yes, I noticed the fact that one misplaced comma was the extent of his punctuation but didn’t consider it a “glaring” flaw). I decided to respond and politely informed him that I didn’t think we’d be compatible (without giving reasons). I could have said, “Why should I bother to respond when your omission of my code word shows you obviously didn’t bother to read my whole profile?” But I have no reason to be a jerk and inclusion of the code word really isn’t a make-or-break issue. I did, however, mention the fact that a lot of people on Match don’t have subscriptions so they can’t reply. I’m seriously amazed that others don’t seem to grasp this concept. Of the 10 emails I’ve received this go ’round, NONE have included their email address. I also explained that the reasons why someone doesn’t think they’ll be compatible may not be personal, just that they’re looking for something different, and that it’s awkward to reply with a simple “no, thanks” and no reason. Moved to folder: He got his one and only reply.

EMAIL #2: This is the first email I’ve received from someone with whom I see any sort of potential. Don’t get too excited for me. I didn’t go, “Wow!” but at least I didn’t go “Ugh!” So that’s a big step up. His main picture is just okay but decent enough that if he had an amazing personality I could go for him, though I didn’t see much indication of an amazing personality in his profile. However, we are in agreement in some of the challenging lifestyle choices so I’m not sure what to do with him just yet. Moved to folder: Simmer on it for awhile.

I expect tomorrow will be a slow day as it seems a little strange to be trying to pick someone up on Thanksgiving. I don’t imagine my perfect match is the kind of guy to tell the family, “Can you hold off on carving the turkey? I have three more winks to send.”