The End (Round One)
March 17th, 2006My apologies for abandoning this blog the way I did without wrapping things up- I was just doing my impression of all the guys I “met” on Match. The last guy seemed like a great prospect. We exchanged about four emails each then he asked for my phone number. I sent it to him and that was the last I heard from him. Another mystery. Up until the point I sent my number, Match showed that he logged on to the site daily. Then he didn’t log on for a week. By the time he did, my membership had ended so there’s no way to know if he emailed me but I assume he didn’t.
The disappearing guys really perplexed me. As has been established here, I’m very analytical, both about others and myself. There were a couple of emails I sent where I could have deciphered some sort of reason for not receiving a response. But these guys all vanished after brief, straightforward emails. Regardless of their reasons for being flaky, their lack of consideration will probably keep them single for a long time.
Some things I learned in this round of online dating:
1) Given that many qualities I possess and many that I’m looking for in a man don’t fit the typical mold, I really have to make a concerted effort to find a partner. An online dating stint every couple years probably won’t cut it. I have to make this a bigger priority. It’s so easy to get caught up in other aspects of life and then suddenly realize that months have passed without catering to relationship needs. I’m guessing that a lot of professional women who are content with themselves fall into the same trap. I’m glad I finally woke up to the fact that finding a good man is going to take some real effort.
2) I’m not the boy-crazy girl I used to be. One of the big mistakes I made this round was limiting the number of guys I corresponded with to one or two at a time. The reason I did it was so that I wouldn’t let someone fall by the wayside if one interested me more. That’s because I used to be the type who got really excited about a new guy who sounded great on paper. But now I’m at a place in life where even the ones who seemed perfect for me didn’t occupy my thoughts beyond the time it took to respond to their email. Next time around I’m going to find good prospects and compose emails to them before I even sign up for the dating service.
3) A three-month subscription is too long. For the price, it seems like a better idea than a one-month subscription but it allows for procrastination and boredom to set in. Plus, by month three, I was barely receiving any emails or even page views. I’ll be better off joining for a month here and there when I know I can devote a decent amount of energy to the process. And I’ll definitely avoid subscribing over the holidays!
So that’s it for round one. In the next month or so, I plan to take advantage of Yahoo Personal’s one week free membership and see how I like their service. I might check out a couple more dating services though I suspect I’ll eventually be back at Match. Thanks to all who have read this blog and supported my efforts. Please check back in a few weeks for round two. Hopefully that one will have a more exciting ending.
Try nerve.com, also. Ken Wheaton of the nondating life (blog) recommended it to me back in August, and that’s where I met the chef (my current boyfriend). I love online dating.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. We look forward to hearing more from you about your experiences with other online dating sites.
This is the funniest blog ever. Did you ever end up trying yahoo?
Nope, haven’t done any online dating since but I’m planning to give it another go in the next couple months.
My one month Match membership just ended. I exchanged email (exact count 22 - according to Match) and multiple phone calls. The last time I heard from him was via a recorded voice message. He was very sweet and indicated that he would try me again in the morning. I called him in the morning instead and left voicemail. I never heard from him again. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I don’t get it. After a week went by, I finally sent an email indicating that I hoped he was well and that the silence was due to changing his mind about our communications. I was sincerely concerned that something aweful had happened. Silly me. I saw him online on Match on a regular basis, but he never bothered to contact me again. What’s the difficulty in a little common courtesy. Even a text message with the words “not interested” would’ve been helpful. I can deal with that. It provides closure. Certainty. It makes sense. I am way too analytical.
Thanks for the great blog … found it via Google searching for not so great match.com experiences… I tried match for six months and found pretty much the same kind of experiences from the older male side of it. The anonymity and flake factors have reached the why bother tolerance levels…..there has to be a better way.
I read a bit of your blog. I can see why you are single. No offense but you have somre real issues. Especially as it relates to your value. No women of color of people that weight more than you should be included. Good thing you are not trying to reproduce.
I’ve just finished reading your blog and wanted to say thanks! I’ve been dipping into the online dating thing for a few weeks now and was all but ready to hit the delete button on my account. I then found your blog and decided to give it another few weeks! You haven’t updated anything recenty though so can we take it that you finally found someone? Thanks again for a very enjoyable read.
thank you soooo much Fifa for sharing your experiences! things haven’t changed much since you wrote this 3 1/2 years ago! thank you so much for putting my experiences into words — it seems to be universal!
i think i am dropping match.com to go meet fella’s IN PERSON! off to the car show!
thank you again for sharing with us! a great, honest and entertaining read dear!
all the best!
rosa
The ones that disappear. They probably got arrested or something.Despite positive words in recent times. (most likely faked by advertisers on dating sites). Online dating is still a hub for mostly undesirables and freaks of all kinds. Look if you had googled opinions about online dating a few tears ago. Most of the results would have warned against it. Now you see all this positive crap. Well it’s bull. Ad companies want more people to join sites and click there adds. It’s still a crappy game.
Wow… from the glimpses into day 1, and day 88, your experiences mirror mine in TOO MANY ways. No ‘vicarious living thru their kids’, no women who haven’t managed to make it to ‘baggage claim’, yes to ‘good kisser’, yes to interesting conversations, well read, with a good (sarcastic?) sense of humor.
Here’s hoping you found someone with which to spend your evenings,
MAverage
Whoa… the parallels here are… oh, I don’t know… intriguing? Inevitable? It’s because the society today is so mobile that no one stays in one place long enough to build ‘community’, and despite what StarBucks (cha-ching) wants you to believe, there is still not a good ‘third place’ between home and work where people can just hang out and get to know each other. Churches, married friends, and near by family used to provide that service - they would ‘pre-screen’ potential ‘matches’ and only put you in touch with each other if there were some commonalities in your background.
As for the silences… could it be that the men’s 1 month on Match expired? Or they were actually married guys looking for action on the side? (yes, everyone hates that - especially single men).
I found YOUR blog while checking to see if Bing had spidered MY blog… synchronicity. Normally, I would never Google a date, but I don’t guess the same applies to someone who already blogs, and puts their heart & soul right out there… the idiots… uh… OH! Sorry ;?P
Here’s hoping YOUR silence is because you met the right guy for you, or someone tolerably close that you could… tolerate. All the best.
Dare to Be Happy,
M.Average.