The End (Round One)

March 17th, 2006

My apologies for abandoning this blog the way I did without wrapping things up- I was just doing my impression of all the guys I “met” on Match. The last guy seemed like a great prospect. We exchanged about four emails each then he asked for my phone number. I sent it to him and that was the last I heard from him. Another mystery. Up until the point I sent my number, Match showed that he logged on to the site daily. Then he didn’t log on for a week. By the time he did, my membership had ended so there’s no way to know if he emailed me but I assume he didn’t.

The disappearing guys really perplexed me. As has been established here, I’m very analytical, both about others and myself. There were a couple of emails I sent where I could have deciphered some sort of reason for not receiving a response. But these guys all vanished after brief, straightforward emails. Regardless of their reasons for being flaky, their lack of consideration will probably keep them single for a long time.

Some things I learned in this round of online dating:

1) Given that many qualities I possess and many that I’m looking for in a man don’t fit the typical mold, I really have to make a concerted effort to find a partner. An online dating stint every couple years probably won’t cut it. I have to make this a bigger priority. It’s so easy to get caught up in other aspects of life and then suddenly realize that months have passed without catering to relationship needs. I’m guessing that a lot of professional women who are content with themselves fall into the same trap. I’m glad I finally woke up to the fact that finding a good man is going to take some real effort.

2) I’m not the boy-crazy girl I used to be. One of the big mistakes I made this round was limiting the number of guys I corresponded with to one or two at a time. The reason I did it was so that I wouldn’t let someone fall by the wayside if one interested me more. That’s because I used to be the type who got really excited about a new guy who sounded great on paper. But now I’m at a place in life where even the ones who seemed perfect for me didn’t occupy my thoughts beyond the time it took to respond to their email. Next time around I’m going to find good prospects and compose emails to them before I even sign up for the dating service.

3) A three-month subscription is too long. For the price, it seems like a better idea than a one-month subscription but it allows for procrastination and boredom to set in. Plus, by month three, I was barely receiving any emails or even page views. I’ll be better off joining for a month here and there when I know I can devote a decent amount of energy to the process. And I’ll definitely avoid subscribing over the holidays!

So that’s it for round one. In the next month or so, I plan to take advantage of Yahoo Personal’s one week free membership and see how I like their service. I might check out a couple more dating services though I suspect I’ll eventually be back at Match. Thanks to all who have read this blog and supported my efforts. Please check back in a few weeks for round two. Hopefully that one will have a more exciting ending.

6 Comments »

Comment by trouble
2006-06-02 15:14:52

Try nerve.com, also. Ken Wheaton of the nondating life (blog) recommended it to me back in August, and that’s where I met the chef (my current boyfriend). I love online dating.

 
Comment by Sue
2007-11-06 21:56:41

Thanks for sharing your experiences. We look forward to hearing more from you about your experiences with other online dating sites.

 
Comment by a b
2007-12-11 19:12:41

This is the funniest blog ever. Did you ever end up trying yahoo?

Comment by Fifa
2008-01-06 05:12:15
Fifa

Nope, haven’t done any online dating since but I’m planning to give it another go in the next couple months.

Comment by Neurotica
2008-10-30 00:47:55

My one month Match membership just ended. I exchanged email (exact count 22 - according to Match) and multiple phone calls. The last time I heard from him was via a recorded voice message. He was very sweet and indicated that he would try me again in the morning. I called him in the morning instead and left voicemail. I never heard from him again. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I don’t get it. After a week went by, I finally sent an email indicating that I hoped he was well and that the silence was due to changing his mind about our communications. I was sincerely concerned that something aweful had happened. Silly me. I saw him online on Match on a regular basis, but he never bothered to contact me again. What’s the difficulty in a little common courtesy. Even a text message with the words “not interested” would’ve been helpful. I can deal with that. It provides closure. Certainty. It makes sense. I am way too analytical.

 
 
 
Comment by Sam
2008-02-08 06:30:28

Thanks for the great blog … found it via Google searching for not so great match.com experiences… I tried match for six months and found pretty much the same kind of experiences from the older male side of it. The anonymity and flake factors have reached the why bother tolerance levels…..there has to be a better way.

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI
Your Comment (smaller size | larger size)
You may use <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> in your comment.